《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ u# d4 E; T+ g  yWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  t: F' M3 b$ r( \7 d
Holmes: I just picked it up.5 F/ u4 C- j) G  [# A
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ W4 P4 u' k% _
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
# r9 m3 p: M/ y6 U4 T7 \Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）; i* p2 |* v* B- p
Holmes: You did.
4 Z9 o6 H1 r* w( ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）6 ?" p) c1 e9 [) D
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. n" I4 ?' Z' [3 m
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, z/ |* ^& z  C. a; ~1 p" R( [$ P宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% a* K/ O! V" Y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# U* }4 \1 Q/ i$ F0 c0 F. M
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ G1 N" J. M7 W. |  U
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 n( R+ h, b7 ]7 T' T6 y
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 u6 p, ?) @0 j9 x; ]# \  E2 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。, |1 w1 Q, {; @" p
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+ B( a" ?, A0 A: pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ U8 H5 M6 ^8 @4 c% x0 y( h% y; Q
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?; g- Y% P7 u9 U5 D" v" u1 h$ ]' Z/ q6 M
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
* h9 _# A5 n( }0 `Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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+ m7 b  \" e; q+ qIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' s1 K$ T  X0 y; k8 K/ |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, o4 A! [9 h2 W3 t9 S! V, U; }Watson: Get that out of my face.$ V3 U, N+ q" f4 G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# S3 f) Y3 y) J" Y; o( B8 {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% o6 v/ I1 B( S+ p路人警官Clarky上场。) M0 D% n: ?/ r0 k
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 }+ g" L. i) P/ ?1 M+ e0 @% d5 lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 s$ }3 ]6 O6 v9 [& J
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 m9 P& L6 p5 l4 [. h8 VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ `) g" _1 _4 s3 w1 ^' `
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 s( U+ y) W3 t
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ {9 S5 ]5 l) y2 E2 h9 N& A; UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 b1 G% @1 M( n
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- l" P4 c( Z, @' t' ~7 T- q0 S) G
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, Y! N( i: @  ~7 w# O
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ d4 y, |4 @4 t8 t9 X  A
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 L. Q( W+ N. _8 D+ W4 v9 Q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。- P" F: z1 f. Y; N
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 l* K" B# s- i/ E8 x6 @
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# ~  L7 w: Q9 s$ T- C" v/ J; w( QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' d- `5 M2 G; v7 `: v
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: _& [% H# v6 t% Q2 x4 a+ I警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! P7 b* ^: I5 `. N
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! Z* g1 N+ t& X* N8 H2 b" Z, Y3 B接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 x& t  |- o" I. h
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。/ n& |& Z: G7 }; u" ^- y. M) g
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! p6 N6 O) @2 d2 o
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( Y& i& Q  \; ]" u# Y" [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" F7 L9 o- S  Y# s7 Z. y# i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 J' c& u1 o% g" n8 {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）9 w. T, u, e* y$ _" @$ G
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% \) D9 y" d* ~* ~# B# g5 p" R. bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 Y4 x$ n1 i( J% p2 B7 F0 C; v4 D
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 B6 [; U+ c6 A( DWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# I8 C* n& A2 P& P" d- A/ ?
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 M2 m6 `- f$ p4 X+ {, Z
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……