《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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3 e6 T' `1 p4 g. p$ r" r影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  c) ~' t2 C; B8 w8 hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ a& ~$ M+ }0 W, P/ y
Holmes: I just picked it up.. T8 {$ ]5 e, ~5 r: b. V$ C- s7 H
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! d, ^0 R& x; O) p! A: EHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 ?6 p# I4 D/ t8 ~5 iWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 Z8 Q$ m8 k2 l- DHolmes: You did.
9 P1 x+ }' ?& j  Z（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% A0 O/ `. |8 U* KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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! L  v8 `7 A7 \) [宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% W: K- s+ l+ x) b5 n  I2 I
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 q, s# K0 }. C/ c8 z. x/ F( g
Holmes: Granted./ O6 ^4 A' V$ L7 c; Q% a
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
! H8 ]7 G" A" C7 g7 ]0 k6 rWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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# v0 {# V2 B8 Y' W2 ]拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。# K; A1 P' @8 @: G8 O
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 x5 L: }7 Z$ l: ]: ?- s
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+ A$ d/ {5 m9 p7 ^# w% yHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  z& s, }$ a- v$ d; B  a
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! a0 p6 W# `/ }6 Y' v
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. k" T1 ?3 @. @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& r) h+ b2 ~  j8 H5 W2 b（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. q6 q* E6 {9 Q6 _, m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& H# _/ A, u! {6 E, A7 f# M. XHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 x  D0 n9 o7 L  E$ y3 Q& y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。7 t/ s8 q+ z/ I/ ~" w+ u
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）4 ]8 T* P& S2 d# |0 B- ]# _$ \
Watson: Get that out of my face.
* S9 z! f' }. A% ]/ E1 f% G: mHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ t4 y% C$ o3 y3 _5 B$ G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ b# Q% F# Y4 n! b! M% ]路人警官Clarky上场。. N+ C0 Q4 M5 Y4 G/ j. P" X2 [
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: z: E* S# B& l4 H6 Q3 P4 N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) D! B: O: e) f& d5 Q4 W得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 G# A) G; `. K1 z: ~; Z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% W& K5 K$ ~( {  j: E& [4 e3 m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.  f2 U4 w# c+ g1 S8 w
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 f% z5 ^1 a8 m0 w8 T
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）9 z: x1 S$ v- t' m/ n8 _
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 I1 v9 C5 ~; @; S; N5 MWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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( f& m; n; H; ^3 c& ^河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 S- x& D+ I% O# C# \2 w* A! [
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: ?8 `' {9 ]/ X7 z" h5 n" D) G* kBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& S/ J/ w) X. [8 q2 j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ O; v: O: Q9 A5 X! f
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
+ z' P6 O0 U0 \( t+ HHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 B+ G& N2 A9 s; u: b# F$ g; S后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ l& i6 g" ]# ]( _
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 N$ b9 B8 _  J- n
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 j5 A6 o/ M- J8 V; O
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ k5 k- h) ]  }
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" R# H# Y4 K( a1 ]接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 D6 I) a2 ?5 \. R1 S; i话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 H7 G; c; G# D: w" L- K0 tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 z: _, H: ~2 j
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ I' @8 y6 S2 N) q9 ?, s; cHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 _) C% T* B2 }$ t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 H' Y' M& H. F! h# z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ A8 M# E& T) m/ FHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% M2 |/ k' S4 o# n, a; g5 I, zWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 l/ x3 P1 u3 o8 H1 k( r/ P" b* p% cHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- Y5 p8 W6 v# F9 L" ^
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ z' H6 `- ~. u
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ T- E6 {) W/ @) S; ~7 L/ F" I9 T
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  P: B: m* h/ P& k1 H
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6 X# c$ u& Q+ z6 l1 o# \总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……