《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。+ n; i4 W: _4 c( v# E- u
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
) ~& N8 J) O  T# S7 t8 s' {4 RHolmes: I just picked it up.) U! w6 ]8 j8 B- T8 _& Y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) f/ q1 G! g7 b& w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 b3 b$ e1 @( [  gWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' @3 h( n- }' y
Holmes: You did.
9 i* a! O+ M6 s4 f/ I（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
! l. w6 m8 Q" I* }* D$ T- HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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- E- S% P- W) ?) _# a宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! m4 ~8 M+ n; |. x' A3 E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 m- q! ^, P5 o" p8 U6 a/ E4 g3 D3 M( IHolmes: Granted.8 D- z! n; M: X4 k% u# M0 n8 n9 w
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9 x; G6 S1 O! W  T/ B晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* @+ k3 |  n' l1 x) i
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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% z  P2 e3 Z1 s: P拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- K& \" w! L/ }4 O% M7 QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) y) N2 [9 \0 J5 K4 s! \. x
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, v' g& A# N4 y+ U8 K4 h5 J% sHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
' M4 j; u1 z! x' N( Q, ^6 J（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）: D) }( p6 Z* z7 T
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! D5 u: J# Y; MHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 {( Z: ]9 Y7 B$ ^* u' Z4 E# P
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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" ?; b6 V) \: }Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 V" h) g" w* J3 M- wHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, b; h! E8 ]' ]; t" CWatson: Get that out of my face.
4 ^1 N, |$ s, _9 E6 j/ l' ~- kHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ B1 L7 o8 ]' H' vWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( P! E7 b+ ^( n$ u路人警官Clarky上场。
7 H% v: Y8 _% z: u' ?3 u: J; gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& g" A( v) \/ `8 X3 {Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）) t: L1 F* C' h( l; ?4 E+ f2 M
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  {( g7 H+ G4 ], |- qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?1 z' N/ E0 f( |) i8 n
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
8 u* o% Q) F) n% }（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% s3 u+ [# ?4 d0 y* s$ s  r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; g1 e  b4 s. J: D" b0 a" cWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* b0 c$ C- P2 j
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。& n/ ?& \" v/ @1 E- P5 t
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; X. C9 C! b! K) K- q) ABlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 g0 U  T& `# K0 @9 nWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! l3 T& [5 w# I* ?% P3 c4 F死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ x, v( S' C. }- D( _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% k7 n* R& D. ?后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
' d0 {, F- L; F+ t" ~. P4 i% b: vHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ e8 I6 Y( M8 `
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* ]0 Q- K, X/ ], |5 t) V% J警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) K% z5 _; @" a# ^5 }Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 e: d$ O& D! N: c, X/ C' {7 i
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$ `4 R+ f* g- ~: t( w5 i接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 S' X' U* S% l' W
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% G- ]" z: E& l+ l. z7 G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) n4 I8 F7 A" V# {$ a2 cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ @! {& R+ r0 u9 B5 e8 p8 i+ yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& }' C( X: G7 y; ]- G
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ m% [* x6 ?6 vWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ s, J* K# O6 T; _. l0 R
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 q' t2 N! q- B3 ^# NWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）7 A' ?( X& k5 g0 k
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  a, T: D) Y# h1 }7 ]' u+ zWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 t  l3 S+ V0 u* ^& A( ?; e9 s" y
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……