《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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9 D3 v+ u+ `2 i& e' H9 {影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 _. F8 J; `2 ~6 LWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- j3 g5 i7 n2 N/ K5 t4 w6 J/ Q4 L. u
Holmes: I just picked it up., R% F1 O  |  Y; q3 N+ z/ |: O
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  ~% {; q( G* b/ dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
  a4 ^8 n: V% oWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 V& Z( Q. O8 e# k9 U
Holmes: You did.0 ]5 r9 P- r- Y: b3 u( r8 B: X
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% C' s5 r- d, A4 UHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) `* v% l. y* j( Q7 l# ]2 }' c6 e/ B
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, ^( q& I; r9 Z3 @Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 h2 @! g! C) Q3 `Holmes: Granted.7 |8 |' _7 r! r, O
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" k- Y9 o# p9 x! r* g! Q1 j
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）; B+ x6 ?' I: @" G
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/ }8 V% c. g; W$ c1 n! v9 n, g0 f拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. d" i# A, i6 u: D. qWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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4 g  _9 z5 Q2 ~: gHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; {1 `3 A+ V0 ^9 g+ H2 ~
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。) x7 \/ }4 u! l& Z! z& i
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: f: Q4 r& e1 d2 W0 UIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' A7 ^( C! [$ ~$ D, n6 S
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
* s* z9 b  M6 C* \7 y) S+ ?Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ n' ]5 Z8 W  ^: ]' |9 zHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# i3 N" W' m0 O( g; a
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  K; h" N2 d; D: E2 i0 A& k  v: v" \
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 T( I3 Q) j2 {4 XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 \2 j' S( h7 _. B% [/ [% zWatson: Get that out of my face.
& S. ~4 Z; P! L. N3 x) nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: u; z- |' q8 E9 t, Q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! M4 Y# {) T9 n# _- m路人警官Clarky上场。- G% R2 ~1 f6 I3 W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# i! y/ a, l; M' e/ f
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 I( Y8 q& |, J. v6 S( O# }得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* f# S% K) u; q. n" j, K$ mWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 S8 Y& v6 f! w9 X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 O: b: q" P0 Q2 B: t$ x7 t( b3 f墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) x$ I& t* I) E6 B. z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 {( j0 h, `5 ]( c; y' I% H( G
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 H. F, C6 y" H9 f8 M) JWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' C& `; n* q% T# E' D" D9 N; D
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 |, N8 o8 G9 d- O/ n" n
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& C8 m- U5 V& J( Q7 X& WBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( q! K! }7 n8 E
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
- {" ~! |$ G5 F$ P  F& g死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 w( }8 W4 ~! I1 U8 [. L
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
4 h: n: k, _; V1 X3 Q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。4 s; v4 v% c% P" [2 ]" V4 y( \( U
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& L& f- N$ G' F% [
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! t( O9 G5 V5 m3 q$ ]4 r警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 ^& {: V# k% @2 F' @Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! L% M( u. L3 l5 G* R$ L
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( U& c0 p1 H" B  g6 t2 ?3 d2 e5 `6 w
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 T2 i: N% x7 W& r3 r# X5 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
, K& `7 |0 n" m; U7 m8 F( x+ kWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 D) q/ b3 C0 u1 U2 PHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
' [: a& \! _+ A) V( `9 RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 t! Y+ u8 p0 A, O/ V, T* q2 rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
$ g3 X) n4 V5 xHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- y& \0 z$ O9 j: D9 S* \; }6 c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" C' `2 ?9 G0 u7 I0 p! aHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! G- ~+ H6 x+ x4 n
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% M3 c1 A/ l" v+ E
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- i6 P& h" ?; w（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# H; X$ n; l7 u+ j; N; u! j/ X
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……